From Mindspillage

Silly short musings that don't belong anywhere else. (Yes, a bunch of these were first posted to identi.ca/facebook/twitter/etc. Some weren't.)

• I began to type an address beginning with "the" into the address bar and saw the list of choices appear in the dropdown: theonion.com, theatlantic.com, thereallyterribleorchestra.com, thesaurus.com... And wondered "what was The Saurus?" before concluding I was up way too early.

• A real statement reported in the Wikimedia technical issues IRC channel: "Just a note, some users were getting a few technical difficulties earlier, for a short period. They said in another channel, and I thought id note it here" I don't know how this could possibly be any more vague.

• I could probably have guessed that bright yellow tights would make me look like half a Simpsons character before I bought them.

• There are two songs on my playlist about Data's sexual prowess. I think that says more about me than anyone really wanted to know.

• Allegro con brie: a tempo for particularly cheesy pieces?

• First, there was "I'm a fermata, hold me"... and then the parody, "I'm a staccato, hit me and get the hell off." I have a few more: I'm a ritard, play with me slowly. I'm a crescendo, get loud with me. I'm a tremolo, shake me. I'm a caesura, cut me off. I'm a refrain, keep coming back to me. I'm a sharp, get me high

• I don't think it is possible to wear a hoodie with the hood up without bearing at least a slight resemblance to the O RLY owl.

• Greg: "You look like you come from the 80s." Me: I *do* come from the 80s."

• "Insane motherfucker," muttered the guy behind me as he sought a more distant seat, "sewing on the bus!" I doubt public crafting makes me the nut here.

• Today's game of "where's that important object?" features my wallet. Partial credit answer: "in your purse". Full credit: "...in the drawer with your jeans."

• The song "Telephone" reminds me of one of those books where there would be no story if the protagonist wasn't an idiot.

• It would be totally entertaining to give out fortune cookies with lunch during exams. Especially if you ordered custom cryptic messages.

• The winner of the "where the hell is my passport" game is whoever guessed "underneath the air mattress". Please come claim your prize.

• Advantages of businesswear: knowing no one will harass you if you duck into a fancy hotel when you really have to use the bathroom.

• Amused at how many stories covering the National Spelling Bee misspell the contestants' words.

• I'd have suggested a rousing game of "guess where I put my birth certificate" but "in my suitcase" hardly seems fair to ask anyone to guess.

• malapropism of the day: "constellation prize".

• Some guy at the park wore a t-shirt reading "Don't Judge Me". I wasn't thinking of doing so until I read his shirt.

• Good surprises: candy in your mailbox. Bad surprises: bees in your mailbox. The kind I found left of its own volition.

• The headphones on plane bore the message "OPERATES ONLY ON AIRCRAFT. PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE." I wasn't tempted to until I saw that. Then I tested them and they worked just fine on my laptop, and then I wanted them because they had a clever and amusing lie. (I left them.)

• I wonder if handing out candy to the political campaigners knocking on the door would confuse them enough that they'd go away...

• Back from bike ride. Saw too many cardinals to count. #horriblepunsbasedonatruestory

• As I was coming inside, I felt something go whap! against my chest and bounce off. I looked down to see a stunned, twitching cicada. I know I am often pretty easy to see through, but I didn't think it was *literally*.

• Threads complaining of "unnecessary email" get so long: "here's what I think, now everyone else should stop wasting our time." Repeat.

• 4 out of 5 Wikipedians agree: consensus = 80%.

• Craigslist ad: "TEACHER'S NEEDED!!" Yes, I guess they are.

• The pineapple is not a fruit for the lonely.

• Drafting legal docs is like Mad Libs, except that the prompts are "verb (not funny)", "noun (not funny)", "verb (sounds funny but isn't)".

• The good news: found out what the source of the awful skunky smell at the house was. The bad news: it's a skunk.

• @brion on Summer of Code: "We’ll take you even if you live in the southern hemisphere. ;)” Instead of Summer of Code, the Winter of our Disk Content?

• When come back, bring π.

• I cannot be the only one who sees "Philosophy After Objectivity" and then "Objectivity" on the library shelf and wants to reorder them.

• I'm kind of surprised that Kate Bush's song "Pi" isn't 3:14... but then again, she didn't even get the number right.

• I found out as a kid that my mother lied about watermelon seeds growing in your belly. The first time was an accident. The second time was science.